Blind Spots

I'm a chill type of person still though I'm a thug
I got feelings for this girl but I don't know if its love
Think it over I'm not sober but I'm controlling the drugs
I'm a soldier is what I told them I'm suppose to get love
Still though I pray to god asking that he watching over
Alaska freezing but for real yo my block is colder
All I want to do is live life in a peaceful state
Haunted by my past mistakes its like I sleep awake
Cant lie need liquor because its getting me focused
Friends kill with that in mind keep an eye on you're closest
If you ever seek joy know this, god got the potion
Still my mind stays dirty like a box of roaches
I have never been a fan for the smiles or the happiness
Blank stare no words if you ask me this
Money be the root of all evil I believe it
Because everyday I wake up hoping I achieve it
I'm Hurting…